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I'm not saying leftists are easily entertained, but I tweet "ACAB" once and it's literally one of my most popular tweets.

arguing with chuds isn't fun anymore. what are they gonna call me?

"leftist commie"? Hell fucking ya.

"america hater"? u fuckin bet.

"dirty liberal"? how dare you. a curse onto you and your mother.

me: By becoming married, I implicitly endorse the institution which queer theory has fiercely criticized and who's conclusions I ultimately after with.

my therapist: u cant just use leftist theory to avoid talking about the effects of ur parents divorce on ur conception of relationships

me: Actually, that reminds me of Mark Fisher's discourse on the privatization of mental health in Capitalist Rea-

I get the biggest fucking whiplash every time I remember John Yoo is at Berkeley.

the distinction between my tweets and toots is the likelihood my life will be ruined if angry korean leftists find them

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my mother: you shouldn't buy uniqlo due to the boycott

me: look, im a country and generation removed from this nationalist squabbling

my mother: sigh... do you want to boycott Japanese capitalists

me: sign me the FUCK up

dear university publishers: for the love of god please just release epubs of your books. i promise i'll even pay for them.

new rule: no one is allowed to meme about how "cOmMuNiSTs DoNt unDeRStaNd BaSic eCoNoMIcs" until they've read all of Capital. Fucking drier than the goddamn Sahara with economic analysis.

This also has the added benefit of never hearing that stupid meme again because anyone claiming to have read all of Capital is a liar.

My grandma to my sister: "You need to study hard while you're young. It's fun and all to date and goof off, your brother doesn't know because he spent all his time studying, but you need to prioritize when you're in school"

Me: tf was that drive-by for

Reading as an isolation mechanism is not good for my misanthropic tendencies.

idk how to explain my gpa to law schools other than "idk berkeley math is really fukken hard yo"

also ny why the fuck is your lowest level called the supreme court

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ny on allowing a MtF foster child to dress in feminine clothing: it creates a "sexual dynamic . . . that can lead to unsafe and emotionally harmful sexual behavior"

court: wtf is wrong with you

elementary school me: When the Bible says "For the love of money is the root of all evil" in 1 Timothy 6:10, this is not a total disavowal of wealth: We must first turn to the original Koine Greek and the surrounding cultural and social context in which this pastoral epistle operated. In this essay I shall...

now me, with a Molotov cocktail in one hand and a lighter in the other: im ready to cleanse the church of some money grubbers, motherfuckers

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